Forever and Almost Always

Carter held her hands, feeling her beat against his chest. "I didn't tell him what happened to you! John loves you! I ain't good enough for you Robyn! Dammit, I'm not a Nick or a Kellan! That's John! I'm just a man who isn't ready for a long term commitment. I love ya, I do love ya. I just...I dunno...'

She stopped, frozen. "Fine. If that's how you feel, then I'll go to John. You drove me to him." She let venom lace into her voice. "I hate you. You've made me feel... rejected. Like I'm not worthy of you. If you love me, you would give me anything I want. But you brought John into it."

She sighed. "I'm sorry. I'll see you later, maybe." And she walked out, possibly for good. She knew John had feelings for her, so she'd go for him. She only needed someone who could give her a baby that wasn't Phil's.

Carter teared up, slamming his hand into the wall. He had done this. This was all his doing. He shook his head, tears clouding his eyes as he collapsed onto the bed.

Robyn waited outside the hotel and saw John's car pull up. She got into the car and shut the door, before staring moodily out the window.

John was silent for a while. "Care to explain?"

"Not yet, ok?" She whispered.


When they arrived at his house, she followed him inside. He let her pass and shut the door, then watched as she looked around.

"Are you okay?" John asked tentatively.

She spun around and stepped up to him. "How do you feel about me John?"

John smiled, "Your a lovely woman and I think I'm falling in love with you. I mean, if that's okay by you..."

"Oh." Robyn sighed.

"And how do you feel about me?" John asked, taking a step closer to her.

She looked up at him through her lashes. "I... I don't know. I think I could love you. But I think I also love Carter."

John nodded. "Now will you tell me what this is all about?"

Robyn nodded, then began to tell him everything starting with the backstage confrontation and ending with going to the doctor office. She decided not to tell him about the conversation with Carter only a little while ago.

By the end, he was silient and shaking. He started to say something through clenched teeth, but Robyn interrupted.

"No. Tonigh, I just need you to hold me." And she leaned into him.

John nodded, holding her.

Carter found the hotel with no problem. John didn't like the upscale hotels so he simply looked for the cheapest hotel in town. He debated with walking to John's room but decided to stay in the lobby/

After laying down with John for a while, Robyn couldn't sleep. So she grabbed one of the two room keys from the night stand and went to find a soda machine.

She walked towards the lobby but stopped short when she saw Carter sitting in one of the few lounge chairs. She hesitated before opening the door and walking in. She decided it was best to pretend to not see him. She roughly pushed the dollar into the machine and then the quarters, and smashed the button for an apple juice.

She took a deep breath and the spun and walked back towards the door.

Carter looked up, hearing the door open to the lounge and smiled when he saw Robyn. Here was his chance. He knew he should talk to her, he really did. But for some reason he was tensing up. "R...Robyn...wait..." he nervously started.

Robyn paused, sighed, turned, and then said, "Yes?"

"Look, about earlier..." he sighed, trying to calm himself down, "I was a real jerk. I just wanted you to be happy but I screwed up big time. I didn't know how to react and I just freaked out. John...he's the ladies man. He's the one that everyone always wants. Why would a girl as perfect as yeh want a man like me?"

"Because you've been there for me from the beginning." Robyn sighed, then felt the tears welling in her eyes. "I don't want to have Phil's baby."

Carter pulled her close, holding her tightly, "Yeh won't have to. And if yeh do, yeh'll put it up for adoption."

Robyn gasped and pulled back. "I wouldn't! It would be as much a part of me as it is of him."

"But the problem is that it would be a part of that...that monster," Carter frowned.

"But how could I get rid of something that's a part of me?" She sighed. "Maybe I should just go get the morning after pill."

"Only do that if yeh want to," Carter said, refusing to let go of her.

Robyn sighed and pulled away. "John's gonna wonder where I went."

Carter frowned, "I'm sorry...if you want to go back to him...please...don't let me stop yeh."

She sighed. "It's not like that, Carter. He's just offering comfort."

"Dammit that's what I'm trying to offer yeh. I'm just not as good with the ladies as he is, I dont' know how to speak my mind like he does!"

Robyn gasped. "You are?"

Carter shrugged, "Forget it. Yeh like John, I ain't gonna change yer mind."

Robyn frowned and then felt the tears on her cheeks. She turned and ran back to the room, hurriedly opening the door and closing it behind her.

"Robyn?" John asked, like he had been awake the whole time.

"I just wanted a drink." She locked the door and got back into the bed, curling up against his chest.

"Why ya cryin?" John asked, concerned, "It wasn't those jerks in teh New Nexus again was it?"