Life As He Knew It (Open)

John nodded, a looking a little anxious and jittery. It was all caused by stress. His hands were shaking, he jumped at every little sound. "Y-Yeah, well no y-you know how it feels." He said, cursing the stutter as well. He felt like he'd escaped an asylum or something. People started to stare when he jumped and squeaked when a coffee machine went on. "Damn coffee!" He muttered, running his shaky hand through his hair.

"John, baby," Randy said, taking Johns hands. "Breathe. Relax," he chuckled. "Im going to be fine. It was the side effects of my meds all mixed together with stress and guilt. Seriously, Im fine."

John let out a breath. "Thank god. I probably would have died if something was seriously wrong." He sighed. "I'm gonna lay with you." He said, laying next to Randy, nuzzling Randy's shoulder. He was thankful it wasn't anything serious. He wouldn't be able to take that amount of stress.

Randy smiled and wrapped his arms around John, holding him close. It felt good to hold him after so long.

John sighed, smiling slightly. In Randy's arms, he was finally relaxing for the first time since he returned. He curled up against Randy, and started to drift off. "Randy... I do..." He murmured, dreaming of their wedding.

Randy smiled and kissed the top of Johns head. He loved this man so much it hurt. Even though he hadnt been eating, he started sleeping again, even if it was just a few hours a night.

John awoke a few hours late. His eyes fluttered open, looking up at Randy. "Hey." He whispered groggily, sitting up and stretching. He caught his reflection in the mirror across the room. "Wow, I look like shit." He muttered.

"You'll live," Randy said, chuckling. Randy knew he had bags and dark circles surrounding his eyes and he was paler than usual. But he felt better, so he could care less.

John looked like a ghost with how pale he was. He looked at Randy, chuckling. "We both look like shit." He said, laying back down. His stomach growled loudly, but he sure as hell didn't feel hungry.

"Go eat something, babe. Besides, Im sure theyre gonna make me eat soon and I dont want you here for that," Randy said with a scowl.

"No. I'll eat it, and then I'll throw up. There's no point. And it sucks, doesn't it?" He said, looking at Randy. "It sucks having someone force to eat when you just can't. I can't do it. The thought of it makes me sick. I can't keep it down, Randal." He said.

"You can, John. You just gotta try. I eat until I keep it down. But if you dont want to get better, fine. We arent getting married until you weigh 225," Randy replied.

John felt his jaw drop, tears well up in his eyes. "You're saying I have to gain 25 pounds before we get married? Are you insane? I can't- You know what? Fine!" He snapped. "Asshole!" He yelled as he stomped out of the room and to the cafeteria, yelling loudly at anyone who got in his way, making sure Randy heard him.

Randy hated that he needed to go to such extreme lengths to get John healthy but if they were going to spend their life together, they needed to have a life to spend. He sighed as a nurse came in with a plate of food, the smell making him gag. She placed it in front of him and sat next to him. Here goes everything...

John stared at the food in front of him. He wanted nothing to do with it and the sight of it made his stomach churn. But if he wanted to marry Randy, he'd have to suck it up and stay strong, and keep the damn food down. For Randy... He repeated in his head and started eating.

Randy ate the food, puking a couple times. When the plate was empty, the nurse took it and smiled at him before leaving. He groaned and relaxed into the bed, not thinking about what just happened.

John finished his meal, not even tasting it. He came back into Randy's room, carefully sitting back on the bed, afraid any sudden movements would cause him to puke up his food. He slowly laid down, one hand covering his face an the other on his aching stomach. "I hate food..." He whimpered.

Randy snorted, the urge to puke prominant. "Seriously, John, you act like you didnt eat at all," he said, wanting to roll his eyes. He'd give anything to eat like a pig again. He loved food.

John glared at him. "If your gonna be a jerk, fine." He muttered and got up, but covered his mouth when he gagged, ready puke. Tears fell down his cheeks as he forced it to stay down. Why Randy was being so mean about it, he didn't know. It was an eating disorder, its not exactly something he could control. Randy's problem would go away soon, John's wouldn't.

"Im being a jerk because I want you to get better and Im doing something about it. Okay. Whatever," Randy said. "Yeah, I get what you're going through but Im also trying harder than you are."

John willed the nausea and kept the food down before glaring at Randy. "Of course I'm trying! You think I'm not? You think I enjoy this? I wish I could eat like a normal human being! I try to keep my food down, I try like hell! So don't you dare tell me that I'm not trying! I'm doing my best, and if my best isn't good enough for you, then too damn bad!" He exclaimed and stormed out of the room.

Randy groaned. John never took his words the right way. He ran into the bathroom, puking everything up. He got lightheaded and the pain was back. The doctors ran in and tried to calm him down. All the work from the past two meals down the drain.

John cooled down, feeling bad about what he said. He knew he had twisted Randy's words again. He returned back to the room, sighing when he saw Randy puking. He kneeled next to him, pushing past the doctors and rubbing his back. "It's okay, baby. And I'm sorry." He whispered, kissing his temple.

Randy just groaned. He needed to get better and back to work. This couldnt be happening.

John sighed sadly, and helped the Doctor get Randy back in bed. He kissed his forehead, laying next to him and pulling him to his chest. "It'll be okay, baby..." He cooed softly.