My Kinda Party

John sighed. "Oh Carter..." He said, wrapping his arms around Carter's neck. "I'm 31, baby. Someone's bound to have come before you. I wasn't your first... that's just how it is. But I love you, and I'm engaged to you." He said softly.

Carter smiled and nodded, walking into the other room. He extended hsi hand to Shawn, "I'm sorry sir we got off on the wrong foot. I'm Carter Lacroix."

Shawn smiled. "It's alright, kid. I get it. And call me Shawn... 'Sir' makes me feel older than I already am." He chuckled.

"Yes si-Shawn," Carter caught himself.

Shawn smiled. "So, we can start training tomorrow if you like. It's pretty late and an old man like me needs his sleep."

John chuckled. "I'll show you to the guest room, Shawn." He said, guiding Shawn to the guest room.

Carter grabbed a beer from the fridge adn went back into the bed room.

John led Shawn into the guest bedroom. "Here ya go. Need anything?" He asked with a smile. He really missed Shawn...

Shawn shook his head, "Not that I can think of."

John nodded. "Ya know I missed you a lot, right?" He said softly.

"John...you have a fiance now..." Shawn said, putting his hands on John's hips.

"I know, and I love him. Am I not allowed to miss an old friend?" John asked softly.

"The way you're looking at me says you want more," Shawn softly said.

"Shawn... I'm always gonna have some of those old feelings whenever I see you. But I really do love Carter. I love him more than anything. I couldn't hurt him..." John said quietly, looking down.

"I'm not asking you to kid."

John sucked in a breath and nodded. "I know... and if you get any closer I'll do something I'll unfortunately won't regret..." He whispered, avoiding Shawn's eyes.

"Ask him if you can have us both, I'll be willing to touch that man too," Shawn smiled.

John bit his lip. "He won't go for that... I do love him Shawn. I wanna marry him... I just.. I'm trying to get over you. But everytime I see you..... damn these fucking feelings!" He said, tears of frustration in his eyes.

Shawn wiped away John's tears with his thumbs, "I'm sure if it would make you happy, hick in the bedroom would share. At least once in a while."

John shook his head. "That w-would hurt him and I don't wanna have to have him share. I don't wanna be a slut who needs the love of everybody. I just wanna love one man.... not two..." He cried quietly.

"Babe, it's okay to love two people. I love you and Rebecca dont' I?"

"But I'll feel so guilty and hate myself. I just... c-cant..." John whimpered, sitting down on the bed, burying his face in his hands.

"Hey, I got my family and my kids, this is your chance to be happy," Shawn smield.

Carter was standing outside the door listening. He knew John loved them both now so he knew what he had to do. He opened the door, walking in. "John...if you love the both of us...I don't mind sharing..."

John jumped, seeing Carter. "Oh my god, you heard? Look... I'm marrying you. I love you. I just want you... I don't wanna have to love two men. It'll hurt you..." He whimpered quietly, burying his face in his hands.

"No, what will hurt me is the fact that everyday I know yeh still love old tiger here and want him as well as me," Carter said sitting next to him and rubbing his back.

"But the thing is I didn't want him... I was over him until I saw him. Everytime I see him, I get the old feelings back. I just... I love you Carter. I wanna be normal and have normal relationship with you. Not be an attention craving whore in a menage a trios." John whispered. He just wanted to want only Chris, but Shawn was always there.